*sigh* It’s been almost a whole year since I last posted, I am not good at this stuff, you know the keeping active. Well honestly, that doesn’t bother me, or I try not to let it, I don’t write on this blog for people to find me or for me to gain publicity, I write on here for the times I feel the absolute need to write on here.

Today is April 12th 2017, I had a struggle this morning. I remembered that I had this blog, and I had said to myself, or rather to my horses “Oh! I should write on there” however as soon as I thought that it felt as if I had been drained of all my energy, I began to think that maybe I shouldn’t, I felt like I had lost my motivation. Thing is, I don’t want to believe it but, next I thought, well I could write on my poetry account! Next thing I know my motivation had came back, now when I think about it, the only reason I lost my motivation is because the devil was telling me “I’m going to suck your motivation out so you can’t write on that blog!” Well I managed to overcome that, here I am writing on it. I actually realized that I am not as close to God as I would like to be. It came to my realization that if I can lose motivation to get closer to God, I am nowhere near as close to God as I should be.

Today I write a test, in History. Well here I am avoiding the topic again, I wanted to say that, I feel like I’m close to God because as soon as something bad happens or I’m scared I immediately pray for God to keep me safe, you see “ME”, sure when someone else is in trouble I pray for them as well but it doesn’t seem to be as real and severe as when I pray fo keeping me safe. If all I ever do is pray for God to keep me safe and I don’t pray for being thankful or for the good things, am I not using God? I need to care about him more, I need to pray about everything not only the bad things.

My lesson I’ve learned today, and a lesson I hope to keep in my mind is that I need to pray about everything. Be thankful for everything.

 

Amen.

9 Months in total,

The last post I made was 9 months ago, The truth is; I got caught up in school work along with (If I’m being honest) anime and video games. So I suppose in all honesty I’ve come to realize that yes, anime is very addicting and tries it’s hardest to consume you.

Today my family and I went to our church barbecue, here in Canada it is Canada day. I’ve come along way at my church, I now go to the youth group and have friends there. I feel like I’ve been accepted now, however it seems I was accepted the whole time I was just too busy assuming that people didn’t like me to realize that they actually cared.

School went great this year and I’m terribly excited for this upcoming school year in the 2016-2017 year. However I’m going to love summer and I’ll try to post more on here and hopefully make some new friends. 🙂

Okay I suppose as I’m still not completely sure, I don’t nesecairly see the problem with magic in anime or Disney entirely. Why is magic so bad? Like magic doesn’t even exist in reality so how can it sway my point of view or be used to destroy me?

Also if evil characters in shows are bad also, then what does that make marvel villains?

Well I will head to bed and ask more in the morning. 🙂

Progress, I really think that word can mean a whole bunch of things. I don’t mean like the progress you have on your current video game or school project but more like a developing progress. A developing process through my journey. Basically the progress I came across today was something the Lord showed me because I trusted him.

Though before I jump into the middle of the story I’ll start at the beginning so it makes a little more sense. This morning when I woke up I didn’t do my regular routine which used to be check my texts, check Instagram, get out of bed. No I didn’t do that at all, instead I woke up and grabbed my devotions book. I read my devotions book and then the passage from the bible which I would like to share with you.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

The next bible passage I read was The Death of Lazarus.

First off that passage at the time didn’t really make me think of anything but after when I was making my prayer jar my mom mentioned to me that I should put in there to pray for my grandma’s fiance’s family to stay strong and help them get through the pain because someone in their family had died which caused for great grievance. Though I will continue with what I was saying earlier because this information on my grandma causes emotional problems for me still.

So after creating the prayer jar I sat down on my bed, picked a prayer out and prayed to God. Though after this I went on with my day and started cleaning my room, around 11:25 I almost lost control, I was about to throw a book when I stopped, pushed it aside and asked God for help. I just sat there and prayed, asking for guidance. I soon calmed down, this is where I noticed that I just needed to trust God and start my day off with alone time with him. I suppose this taught me that It’s best to give control to God at all times.

Without the help of God nobody would be living, my mom used to tell me that if God looked away for less than half a second we would die, because without God we falter. In simple terms he is our oxygen.

I would also like to say that I have achieved an overall personal record which I would like to award myself with a badge because of this. I didn’t go on Instagram at all today.

I would like to end the day with saying thank you to God for being here for us whenever we need help.

Dear God, Thank you for always providing me with the things I need, for shielding me from the arrows that try to shatter my armour. Be with us tonight and take care of my family and everyone else out there. Amen.

    

As the day comes to an end today, I’m thinking to myself; what did I do today to please God? If I think about that question carefully I realize more and more that I didn’t do anything at all really to please God today. Unless of course you want to count the factor that at mealtimes I prayed and that I listened to Joyce Meyers and some of BUG (Beautiful Unique Girls) music.

Now I can rephrase that question I asked myself and ask the following.

As the day comes to an end today, I’m thinking to myself; what did I do to please satan?

In all honesty, I did quite a bit. I’ll narrow it down to a small list for you.

• I lied to my parents bluntly.
• I lied to myself.
• I lied to God.
• I didn’t even think about God today.
• I had some wrong thoughts about the way things should be.

Basically if you look at that list you can say I did the things satan rejoices in and the things that the Angels weep about. My mom always told me that when you do the wrong thing satan becomes happy and gains more control over you, but when you do the right thing the Angels celebrate and rejoice, which then makes satan run away for the time being until you forget to do the right thing.

My eyes really opened up when I was searching the web today for “Christian Anime” for about the 50th time. That’s when I stumbled across ephraimsauthor s page. My eyes were opened to the truth about anime, I know that I’ve watched some anime that I should never have even laid eyes on for goodness sake. Then a bigger shock was taken in after coming across    God’s Curious Princess s page. I found out that Frozen had sexual references hidden within it. That was a big shocker to me as I’ve watched it over 10 times literally.

As a future plan I want to create a little jar and fill it with prayer requests of friends and family, and of course my own also. Of course I wouldn’t just pray before bed and in the morning, I would pray at any given time of the day.

I myself have a devotional book that I use for doing devotions, but I suggest for any other growing teenager to use the devotional book called Truth & Dare. It’s basically telling us the truth about being a christian and that truth is expressed through a bible verse, it has a daily reading and at the bottom of the page there is a Dare that gets you to do something through God, then there is the Double Dare that actually makes you do something to change the community or help around the house by writing some notes or whatever the dare is. Though it’s always Christian related.

Thank you for reading, I hope to help someone else through their journey as well.

Dear God, Thank you for shining some light on the things that are in my life that were currently not visible to my eyes. Thank you for showing me that there is something earned in giving up certain things. Please take care of my family, and everyone else’s family out there. In Jesus name Amen.